Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love via Skype

“You cannot govern the country through skype!” the Kenyan PM retorted to his opponent recently during the first ever Presidential Debate in Kenya. Interesting I thought. How about love. Can you love via Skype?

LDR (Long Distance Relationships) Is it a venture for the brave? The trusting? The patient? I read an article the other day where some guy was trying to convince his readers that a LDR could actually work. Then he went on to say that he had been in one, and it worked just fine. But only for three years. Three years he said.

Md and I are on our third year in a LDR. Should we therefore assemble on a round table and enjoy our passover meal this year?(Lent started yesterday fyi)Truth is, it is not the easiest thing to do but we are trying to make it work.

This morning, my phone rings to wake me up from slumber. Caller ID informs me that its him.

“Hallo” I growl. I am sleepy as anyone would be at 4am in the morning
“Hallo....hallo?”
“Hallo” I am awake now and I don’t have the patience for a bad connection!
“Happy Valentine’s day baibe”, he says (He stopped apologizing for waking me up at odd hours of the night a long time ago.)
Yeah, Valentine’s day! I remind myself.

“Oh, Happy Valentine’s day to you too love. You actually remembered its Valentine’s day?!” I ask.
He laughs. “Of course I did (Pause) I love you so much”
“I love you too” Then we both pause as we go to that zone lovers normally go to when they pour their hearts out to each other.
“Hey, I have to rush to work, will call you later.” He recovered faster than me. “ Pass my love to the kids and have a good day ok?” he says
“Have a good day too love. Bye”
We hang up, I pull the covers over my head and resume sleep from where I left it. With a phone call from my Valentine the day is essentially taken care of.

That is what LDRs are all about; Phone calls, texts and good old Skype. A surprise gift finds its way to me once in a while. The other day he had to carry his birthday gift with a promise that he would not open it until his actual birthday. Lucky we had skype to ensure that it was left unopened until the specific day. I did the inspection with the help of Hailey & Heidi;

Ebu turn it I see if you broke the seal.”
He complied
“Is that tape unsealed? Bring it closer to the webcab” I said peering into the pc
“Its fine” he replied, showing the parcel to me from all angles.
“Fine. Go ahead. Open it” I gave the green light.
He loved it. I got a thank you and a kiss blown my way via good old skype.
What would we do without technology?

The whole thing sucks though, to be honest. It does. The Valentine’s days without him, the School Parent’s days without him, the birthdays without him, the flu days without him. Don’t even get me started on the nights!

Other than that, I’m happy to report that our relationship is pretty normal. We argue (over the phone)like ya’ll do. I sometimes get frustrated as I wonder, does he really know how angry I am - he should SEE how furious he’s made me! Then I pout for days without texting him. He stubbornly refuses to call for a while. Then tempers go down. Then he texts an “I love you” I reply with an “I miss you” he goes ahead with “Plse tell the kids that daddy loves them very much - will call later” then tears well up my eyes and when we talk again, we wonder what we were arguing about.

Then there are the countdowns to the day when he is coming home. Then his arrival and the kids can barely sit still, their excitement palpable. The unfamiliarity between me and him lasts a few minutes - he always takes care that - don’t ask how. Then we have to keep familiarising with each other for a couple of days. Sometimes I wake up and wonder to myself who the handsome man sleeping next to me is. Then it all comes back to me...and I’m in seventh heaven for weeks.

Then he has to go again. And the cycle continues.

This LDR has taught me two things though: No matter the distance, you can never stop someone from hurting you - if they intend to, they will. AND you should never make your happiness someone else’s responsibility.

What md and I will do is ride it out for as long as it will go; three years, five years, forever maybe? We both hope to go all the way.

Happy Valentine’s day to my Valentine - 1AWE4G!

LDR or not, do have a Happy Valentine’s day dear lovers!



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