Sunday, January 20, 2013

“My Daddy is a sex Pest” - and a Doctor does nothing to help.

This is not just a rant but an expression of profound disappointment in one Dr. Joachim Osur who, in the Saturday Magazine of the Daily Nation (19th Jan) writes about a form four girl who came to him for help because she suspected that what her father was doing to her; touching her inappropriately, buying her gifts, visiting her bedroom at odd hours - was not part of a normal father-daughter relationship.She was scared that though her father had not had sex with her yet, she saw the possibility of it happening soon.

She was feeling helpless, not knowing where to turn to, she took a chance on the author. Though she had difficulty talking about this, amid tears, she gathered enough courage to open up to him and tell him what was going on in the privacy of their home. The author admits to not knowing what to do when the girl dropped the bombshell and I wish at this point he had sought help from other qualified professionals to take on the young girl’s case.

This article had me deeply disturbed at the nonchalant way the author treated the whole situation as though the girl was complaining about a petty nuisance.

This is because, the Doctor only helped to push the girl back to the insecurity of her home, where she was indeed raped by her father! Even after she had sought help from him, she had gathered all the courage she could master to talk to someone who she thought could help her avert an injustice from being meted out on her, she spoke out, she took a step in spite of her fears. And still she was raped! The good Doctor did nothing but redirected her to close friends and relatives or a church pastor, instead of grabbing the chance to stop the very potent danger she faced.

I am left wondering, I am no Doctor nor a psychiatrist, but did the author not realise that the reason the girl came to him may have been because she could not open up to these other people he was suggesting?

By the time I finished reading the article I was furious because this could have been prevented. I could not bring myself to understand how an editor of one of the most respected newspapers would allow such blatant show of negligence on a matter so sensitive to be printed.

Dr. Osur should have taken it upon himself to contact the girl’s mother, or close relative - the people he was suggesting the girl should talk to. He should have taken it upon himself to ensure the safety of that girl instead of letting  “...the whole thing go out of his mind” on the assumption that the girl was safe. How now?

Talking about something like that especially touching on her father, must have been a  ginormous task for that young girl. She put so much on the line because she was afraid of what would happen if she kept quiet about his father’s behaviour. Sadly, that act of courage, came to nought. Thanks to one Doctor who, with a referral, sent her back to her molester.

The author continues to write “If only my patient had involved a relative or a close family friend, or even brought the father to the clinic as agreed, we would have stopped the beastly man” To me, this is the most insulting sentence in the whole article.

Dr. Osur, you lay blame on that brave girl yet she did what most girls don’t have the courage to do by speaking up-evidently not to the right person-but  she did what she could to try and prevent this. While other girls are too scared to speak up and suffer in silence, she did things differently. She came to YOU! Not her relative, not her close family friends and not her father the molester... Are you kidding?

Unlike her mother or family members who had no idea what was going on, you knew what she was going through, and you did nothing about it. Not that it will do much now since the damage is already done, but I think you owe her an apology anyway.

The way I see it, when it comes to rape, and child molestation of any kind, you are either part of the solution or part of the problem. You can either help these children by going after the perpetrators or sit back as your peers, husbands, boyfriends have their way with them. This also goes for the disgusting women who for the demented notion that they have to bend over backwards  for their men, look the other way as their daughters are molested by these beasts in their homes.

That young girl, Dr. Osur sir, was molested on your watch! Because of your negligence, her life will never be the same again. For that you should be ashamed.

2 comments:

  1. What kind of person is that? His first duty before even being a Doctor is to be a human being. He failed miserably at both. Shame!!!

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